I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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