At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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