The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
