Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
