please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
