My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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