Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
