I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
