Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
