Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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