Your face is a jimmy john
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
