she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
