so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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