Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
where are my eyebrows?
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