Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
