At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
