I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
