I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
