Me too!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
