Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just invented taco cereal.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
