There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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