Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
