I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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