the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
