No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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