someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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