I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
