dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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