What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
