I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
