what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
