So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
