oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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