shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
