True but thats because hes a fetus.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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