Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
