Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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