idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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