just come out here and I will go home with you...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
