Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
