yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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