Soap is not a condiment
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
