That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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