Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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