dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
