Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
