We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
