now i know why i became what i already was.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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