Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
