Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
