Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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