So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
