i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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