I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
