also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
